Ep: 195 The Gratitude-Resilience Connection: Building Mental Strength Through Thankfulness

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Welcome to the Stress Nanny, the podcast where we take the overwhelm out of parenting and help kids and parents build calm, confidence, and connection.

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I'm your host, Lindsay Miller, Kids Mindfulness Coach and Cheerleader for Busy Families Everywhere.

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Each week we'll explore simple tools, uplifting stories, and practical strategies to help your child learn emotional regulation, resilience, and self-confidence, while giving you a little more peace of mind too.

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I'm so glad you're here.

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Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Stress Nanny, the podcast where we break down emotional skills into simple, doable moments you can weave into everyday life.

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I'm Lindsay Miller, and today we're going to explore one of my all-time favorite tools for raising resilient, steady, joy-filled kids, and also for keeping ourselves steady in the process.

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We're talking about gratitude, but not the pressure-filled, be grateful kind of gratitude.

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The gentle, grounded kind that grows naturally and feels really good in your body.

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The kind that research tells us has ripple effects into resilience, happiness, and long-term health.

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So get cozy, take a deep breath, and let's dive in.

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So gratitude is one of those practices that seems simple, and it is, but it's also surprisingly powerful.

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Research from UCLA and USC shows that when we practice gratitude, the brain lights up in regions associated with emotional regulation and reward processing.

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It's like giving the nervous system a warm, calming hug.

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And here's the part I love consistent gratitude practice activates the parasympathetic nervous system.

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So the rest and digest state.

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That means gratitude literally shifts us out of stress mode and into a place where we can think more clearly, respond more intentionally, and feel more grounded.

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Parents tell me all the time that they want their kids to handle stress better.

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And gratitude is one of the sneakiest and sweetest ways to help that happen.

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One of my favorite research findings is about how gratitude builds resilience.

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It's from a study published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, and it shows that gratitude helps kids and adults bounce back from challenges more quickly.

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And here's why.

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Because gratitude trains the brain to look for resources instead of threats.

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So when kids practice gratitude regularly, they start to build an internal narrative that sounds like hard things happen and I still have support, tools, and strengths that help me through.

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And that mindset is the bedrock of resilience.

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For high-achieving kids, gratitude creates emotional balance.

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For kids who struggle with regulation or who are wired differently, gratitude builds a sense of safety and capability.

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It's not about ignoring problems, it's about widening the lens so the problem isn't the only thing in the frame.

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You've probably heard that gratitude makes people happier, but let me give you the research behind that.

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A well-known study from Dr.

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Robert Emmons and Dr.

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Michael McCullough found that people who kept a brief weekly gratitude journal reported higher levels of optimism, better overall mood, a stronger sense of connection, and increased life satisfaction.

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And here's the kicker, they slept better too.

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There's so many parents and kids that I talk to who want sleep to have a little bit more ease in their household.

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And apparently the brain just loves ending the day on a high note.

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Kids especially benefit from these types of emotional boosts.

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When gratitude becomes a family rhythm, kids feel more connected to us as parents, they feel more capable about their own abilities, and they're more content.

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Happiness stops being something that they chase and becomes something that they generate from within.

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And here are a few more health benefits that might surprise you.

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Multiple studies, including those from the American Psychological Association, show that gratitude is linked to lower blood pressure, improved immune function, reduced inflammation, and better sleep.

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When the nervous system feels safe, the body can restore, repair, and regulate.

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And gratitude is one of the gentlest ways to cue that shift into parasympathetic dominance, like we talked about earlier.

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And if you're raising kids who feel overwhelmed easily or who hang out in that fight or flight space pretty often, gratitude can be a great way to quietly signal to the body, you're okay, there's goodness here.

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You know that I love sharing practical ideas for how you can apply these things at home.

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So I'm going to give you a couple of practices that work really well for teens and kids.

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So there's a three moments ritual where maybe every evening at dinner time or bedtime, you invite your child into just a moment of connection.

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And it could be in the car, you know, whenever it fits into your day, you ask them to share three moments from their day.

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So a moment that felt good to them, a moment that surprised them, and a moment that they're grateful for.

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And these prompts gently stretch the brain to notice not just gratitude, but novelty and emotional awareness.

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They teach kids there were good things about my day, there were interesting things about my day, there were meaningful things about my day, and I noticed them.

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This practice builds emotional awareness, it strengthens the nervous system in the ways we've talked about, and it rewires the brain to look for the good, not in a forced way, but just in a naturally curious, steady, regular, grounded way.

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And if you skip a day, zero guilt, the gratitude practice grows best in a spacious, low pressure environment.

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So don't make it stressful, just make it easy.

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And then this is another thing you could do if this script feels a little bit easier to you.

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You could use something like three happy things and one thank you.

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Again, you pick a time that works, and then you just say something like, Okay, everybody, let's do our three happy things in one thank you.

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I'll say the prompts, and then you can tell me yours, or whisper them, or yell them, whatever feels good.

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Ready?

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And then you ask, what were three things that made you happy today?

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They can be big or small.

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Obviously, you then wait for the answers.

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And then what is one thing or person you really want to say thank you for today?

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Wait for the answers.

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And then what is one way you felt strong today or something hard that you did?

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Again, as you wait for the answers, you recognize that that question helps build resilience because we're asking them to name something challenging.

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And then we're also asking them to talk about the way they were able to make it through, along with talking about the gratitude, which is going to bolster their resilience in the other ways we've already mentioned.

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And then we thank them for sharing.

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You can also use a gratitude jar, something we've talked about before.

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I have a few other gratitude practices that we've done here on the podcast.

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So when we can keep the process of sharing regular gratitude short and sweet, we just consistently point the brain in that direction, right?

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And then we have all these benefits that come as a result.

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So I hope that in some small way you can build these gratitude practices into your everyday rhythm.

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So that gratitude isn't just something we're practicing on Thanksgiving, but it's really something that we're tuning into on a daily basis so that we can get all the benefits that come from having a regular attitude of gratitude.

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Before we wrap up, I want to invite you to pause with me for just a few seconds.

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Take a deep breath in, let it go.

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Now just think of one person, one moment, or any one thing.

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Maybe it's a mug you're holding right now, maybe it's the laughter of kids around you, maybe it's the fighting or crying of kids around you, maybe it is the trip that you're about to take, maybe it's the time with family, whatever it is, just notice something right now in your environment that you're grateful for.

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And let your body just notice what that gratitude feels like.

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The softening, the desire to exhale a little bit and release.

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The sense that you're okay.

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And that's the regulation, right?

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That's the resilience, that's the science we were talking about, working real time.

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Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.

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If you found the episode helpful, I'd love for you to share it with another parent who's building a resilient, emotionally healthy home.

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And if you want more tools like this, simple, research-backed, and totally doable, you can join the email list, subscribe to the podcast, find me on Instagram.

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I'm always sharing new ways to help you and your kids stress less and connect more.

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Until next time, take good care of yourself.

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Your nervous system.

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Well, thank you.

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Thanks for listening to the Stress Nanny.

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If you found today's episode helpful, be sure to share it with a friend who could use a little extra calm in their week.

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And if you have a minute, I'd love for you to leave a review.

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It helps other parents find the show and join us on this journey.

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For more tools and support, head over to www.thestressnanny.com.

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Remember, you don't have to do stress alone.

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Together we can raise kids who know how to navigate life with confidence and ease.

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Until next time, take a deep breath and give yourself some grace.