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Welcome to the Stress Nanny, the podcast where we help kids and parents build calm, confidence, and connection.
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I'm your host, Lindsay Miller, kids mindfulness coach and cheerleader for busy families everywhere.
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Each week we'll explore simple tools, uplifting stories, and practical strategies to help your child learn emotional regulation, resilience, and self-confidence, while giving you a little more peace of mind too.
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I'm so glad you're here.
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Today's episode is with Antoinette Lee, and I wanted to just share a brief note.
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As this podcast is coming out, it's the time of year where we're planning summer vacations or thinking about spring break.
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And so one of the reasons that I wanted to talk to Antoinette is that she has so many fantastic ideas about how families can connect outside and how to allow the rejuvenative nature of nature be a part of your family's experience.
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She has a ton of ideas from small just day trip activities to weeklong adventures to the camp that she runs to create moments where families can connect, whether it's around a campfire, on a hike, et cetera.
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And I know those moments aren't all rosy and there's arguing and there can be pushback and there can be a lot of work that goes into preparing for those moments.
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But the enthusiasm that Antoinette shares in this episode is so fantastic because she sees firsthand what these kinds of moments do for kids and the ways they impact families.
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I'm so excited for my conversation today with Antoinette Lee.
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She has an MBA and she's an 11-year U.S.
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Army veteran, an outdoor industry influencer, model, consultant, writer, founder of the American Adventures Sports Club nonprofit, and motivational health and wellness speaker.
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She delivers the New Normal Big Life talk, blog, and podcast.
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Aside from an amazing recovery journey using a walker, a service dog, and a full-time caregiver after a traumatic brain injury, spine injury, and PTSD, Antoinette shows others how to create their new normal and live the biggest life they can dream.
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She can usually be found in the Northwoods with her family, stewarding the forest and river around their homestead while living the adventure sports lifestyle.
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Antoinette, thank you so much for joining me today.
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Thank you for having me, Lindsay.
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I'm excited for our talk.
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Yeah, me too.
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So one of the things that I really love about your story is the resilience and the way that you use nature and your own strength within to navigate and create a new normal for yourself.
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Can you tell us a little bit about that process as much as you're willing to share and just how you found your way through?
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Oh, thanks for asking this question.
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I love answering it because it will empower people to understand that no matter their circumstances, everything they need to have the life they want already resides inside you.
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And I needed a reminder of that too after a traumatic brain injury and spinal cord injury and a repelling accident that left me using a walker, a service dog, a full-time caregiver, and a loss of an ability to communicate and agoraphobia that was so bad I couldn't leave my home for 18 months.
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So if I can come back from all of those things, it's possible for anyone.
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And we don't know how it could possibly get any better.
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I think hearing stories like yours is so incredible, right?
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Because you you can say, like, well, if she can do it, there is hope, right?
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If she can make it through that, there is a way for me to keep going too.
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Or there are resources or people I can connect with who can have an impact.
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And so I I really appreciate those stories of hope because I know I've latched onto them at different points in life when I really needed the external hope because my own situation seems so bleak.
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Yeah.
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I think people don't really understand what hope is, and it's kind of it's like believing in the impossible when you don't have any proof that it exists.
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And for people without imagination, for people who have been told no, you can't, you'll never, you won't, that's a really high hurdle to jump over.
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So people who are recovering from illness, uh physical trauma, emotional trauma, people who have experienced trauma in their work, like law enforcement and military.
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One of the things that we have learned, because there are so many programs and therapies available to us, is that there's health and social benefits to outdoor recreation, adventure sports, things like hiking, camping, kayaking, and archery.
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And I used all of those tools in my recovery.
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And so, for example, archery helped me retrain my brain for things that require focus, like having this conversation, reading a book, and uh people who are experiencing cognitive decline or mood imbalance or who are on the spectrum, uh, who also struggle with some types of focus-related activities and tasks can really benefit from archery.
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So when I began archery, I had difficulty holding a conversation and making new memories.
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30 days later, I was back to talking almost like normal.
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Wow.
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Because it uses neuroplasticity to retrain the brain.
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And then when I wanted to get off my walker and ditch my service dog, who's now the family pat and a caregiver, I was sent to uh whitewater kayaking, believe it or not.
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So I put my walker to the side of the pool because you learn in a pool before you get out on the moving water, and got into a little plastic boat.
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And for the first time in almost two years, I felt like everyone else.
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I didn't feel like I was this person who looked super young, but who was walking around like I'm a super senior citizen, right?
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And I just felt like wow, I'm like everyone else.
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And that was the moment that I realized this hope that I have is real and it's achievable.
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My goals are achievable.
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That's so powerful.
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Well, and I love, love, love the way that recreation can do that, right?
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Like you're saying, it takes you out of kind of your normal way of thinking, and your brain has to think differently because you're doing stuff that's way different than you've ever done before.
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And then because you can kind of break out of the way you were thinking, the creativity, imagination, those things, there's like a little snippet of light coming in for that stuff.
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And then the more we engage, and like you're saying, the more we do the different things that we've never done before, kind of stretch and grow, the more we realize the potential we have to do that in other areas that maybe before seemed kind of impossible.
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And you know, children often at school and with their friend groups and even with their siblings can hear you can't, you won't, you're not good enough.
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And it can make even a child who has a lot of charisma and creativity and things that they can contribute to a group to shut down.
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Yeah.
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But when you teach someone something new and they get it quickly and they're relatively competent at it pretty quickly, that boosts their confidence and their bravery to try other new things in a way that is just so fast-paced that parents almost can't even believe that it's possible.
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And even I couldn't believe that in 30 days of doing this new sport, I'm back to fully able to be communicated, communicative without having to take five minutes to write a sentence or to have people guess at what I'm trying to say.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I totally agree.
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And I think the thing that's coming to mind for me is one of my one of my clients in particular, she went on a family vacation to Mexico and they did a lot of outdoors activities, things she'd never done before, and things that in her own space, she would have probably been a little hesitant to do because she operated from a place where fear felt really big.
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And we would talk a lot about not letting fear drive, right?
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Like where fear doesn't get to drive, worry doesn't get to drive right now.
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It can be in the backseat, but it's not driving right now.
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And when she was removed from her environment, her usual spaces, and had that sense of adventure.
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You know, she got back from that trip, and I remember her telling me, she's like, I drove a razor.
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And I was like, You did what?
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And she was like, and I went fast.
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You know, I love it.
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But it's it's what you're describing, right?
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It's like you remove someone from their environment that's normal, that or the where the place they feel limited, and you put them out in nature, which is boundless, and then they experience that part of themselves, right?
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In these new activities.
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And it does, like you said, it spills over in so many ways.
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And I find it so powerful for kids because so many of the kids that I've coached have had similar experiences, which is one of the reasons I was so excited to talk to you about the camp in particular, but like where they've gone out and done something that was something they never thought they would ever do, and the impact that it had on the rest of their life, you know, not only from the standpoint of bravery and also just like resilience, but from the confidence, right?
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Like it just carried over into everything else.
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And so I love that your focus is on like these types of experiences where kids can kind of blow their own minds and be like, wait, I can do that.
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And what does that mean?
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Like, what does that mean for my future?
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You know, it's amazing.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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And after camp, parents contacted us and said, My children are making friends easier, they have confidence, they're have less anxiety and depression, their behavior has improved, they're not afraid of the dark, and now they love nature.
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When I would try to force them outdoors to get them away from technology and they would rebel.
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Now they're asking me, can we plan something over the weekend that we can do as a family outdoors?
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It's amazing.
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So we're gonna talk specifically about camp with you, and then we're gonna talk, we're gonna apply these more generally.
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So if camp isn't in your budget or in your schedule right now, we're gonna talk about ways you can, you know, facilitate some of these activities on a vacation or in your city or community.
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But then for we're gonna focus initially on like the benefits of sleepaway camp and how it can foster so many of these qualities.
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Talk to me a little bit about independence and how that flourishes during a sleepaway camp.
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Well, what we notice is that children often arrive at camp.
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So the campus for ages six to 16, and across the board from age six to 16, children are arriving at camp expecting someone to hold their hands, someone to tell them what to wear for the activity, the proper footwear, the proper clothing, to be at a certain place on the campground at a certain time.
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They need a lot of hand holding.
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And we were very surprised, especially for teenagers and preteens who needed so much hand holding.
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And a lot of it is because at home they're told what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and you don't allow them to fail without crushing their spirit when they do.
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And so at camp, if a child doesn't arrive at a certain place at a certain time, we don't make them feel bad about themselves.
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We help them to have the tools to be on time next time and to know what to wear and to take ownership of their camp experience.
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But we also have them live with the consequences of not arriving on time.
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Like you don't get to sit next to your friend because you didn't get on the van in time, right?
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So those kinds of things.
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But the independence, the independence of thought, hmm, what activity am I going to do?
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And what do I need to wear?
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Is it a water sport?
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Is it a daytime sport where it's going to be hot?
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Is it a cool evening sport where it's going to be cold?
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What kinds of things do I need to bring with me?
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And they're going through their mental checklist, but they also have a written checklist by their tent that they can look at.
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And so we've given them all the tools.
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We have them helping each other.
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And even the most shy, I can't do it, I don't want to be here, kid, develops independence within hours of arriving at camp.
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It really is incredible.
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That's so cool.
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Well, and I think too, again, this idea of kind of removing them from the environment where at school, you know, like they're beholden to the bell schedule.
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And like you said, there are a lot of external factors that determine what they're doing and how they're showing up to something.
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And so giving them just a little glimpse of a bit more open scheduling or a bit more self-determination, and then allowing them to figure out what that looks like and to cultivate the skill set they need to be successful in that situation is great.
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Yeah.
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Let's talk about resilience.
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And you've touched on it a little bit with what you just shared.
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But what are some of the ways you see the kids foster a sense of resilience?
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A lot of the children are super afraid to fail.
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Some of the language that they use is I don't want to look stupid in front of the other kids, or I'm not good at that, or I don't feel well, so I can't do it.
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And that's really just their way of saying, I want to opt out of this activity because I'm afraid.
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So we practice challenge by choice.
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And what that is, is that we tell you what the activity is, we get you all prepared for it, and then we say, anyone who does not want to participate, you go over here with these counselors, everyone else would go over here, but we keep them within eye shot of what's happening.
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And we don't allow the counselors to do anything fun and as a fun substitute, it's more of you're just sitting and watching it.
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An observer.
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Okay.
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You can be an observer or an actor in this.
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You choose.
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Exactly.
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And 100% of the time they say, you know what?
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I see this kid, they're just as afraid as I am, and they did it and they're had a great time.
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I want to try it now.
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And so I just think that the best way to develop resilience in children is to let them fail at small things.
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Uh let them feel the feels, be there for them, uh, help them to self-soothe rather than jumping in to comfort them and making it all better.
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Give them a little space to figure it out on their own, how to soothe themselves.
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And then if they're still struggling, you can help with that.
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Because one of the best gifts you can give your child is the ability to self-regulate their own emotions.
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They're going to need that throughout their work, their school, their relationships, and functioning in the community.
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So the earlier you can start developing that skill, the better.
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And that that's all part of resiliency, being able to get knocked down and get back up and not have it crush your soul.
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Yes, so well put.
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And I think too, I love what you said, challenge by choice.
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And I feel like that's a phrase families could use any, you know, in so many situations where we're saying, like, here's an opportunity, you know, and you can choose it.
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And in order to choose it, you may have to sit with a little bit of fear, uncertainty, you know, you may have to deal with your nerves for a minute.
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But if you do that, the on the other side you get this experience or, you know, this kind of a moment that might be really cool for you, and giving kids to opt in there.
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One of the things that we like to do, especially for children who are reluctant campers, meaning someone told them you have to do this.
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And we really don't recommend that you force a child to come to camp.
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That can really backfire on you.
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It's also puts your child in a position of managing their feelings about being someplace they don't want to be versus just experiencing camp.
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And then it also puts your camp counselors in a difficult position because instead of helping your child have these great new experiences, they're helping your child manage their mood.
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Yeah.
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No, it's so well put.
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What would you say are some of the ways to gauge that?
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If is it just because I could see some kids who are maybe like kind of want to do it, but they're the kind of kid who's a little bit nervous and needs a little bit of encouragement or external validation that they can do it.
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And then other kids who might be like, Yeah, no, I don't want to do it.
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I mean, those are pretty easy, right?
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But how do you tell on the fence sitters when it's just like they just need a little nudge?
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Right.
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There's a difference between I don't want to go and I'm scared versus I don't want to go and I am throwing a tantrum about it.
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Adamant.
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Okay, yeah.
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Right.
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So if your child is throwing a tantrum about not wanting to go to camp, they are not ready for whatever reason.
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Okay.
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And sometimes it could be that maybe someone in their community or another family member is attending camp and they'll get to see photos and videos of that camp experience.
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And maybe that's all they needed is to see that to say, well, I if this person can do it, I know I can.
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Right.
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So sometimes we have one sibling will go to camp, the other sibling will not go to camp.
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And then two days in, after they're seeing us post the social media photos online, the other kid is like, Can I go?
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Yeah.
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And it's too late, right?
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So yeah, it sometimes the fear of missing out can help them motivate them to go next time, but I would not force them into the experience.
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It's it's a bad idea.
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And we even had a child you'd threaten violence over not wanting to be at camp.
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And then a parent said, Well, you know, camp is too far away.
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I'm not coming to get them.
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And, you know, we had to say, your child cannot stay here because they really don't want to be here.
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And when they're threatening violence, that puts everybody, you know, in an unsafe situation at risk.
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Yeah.
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I like the phrase you used when you were talking about it initially when you said they're either going to be left managing the experience or managing their mood about the experience.
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And I feel like that phrase can apply to so many activities, right?
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Where I have parents who will come and say, like, my child always loved going to dance, and lately she hasn't been loving going to dance.
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But a lot of it is because her worries or her, she just was feeling a lot of things and the feelings were getting in the way of the experience, right?
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And so she was spending all of her energy managing her mood, and that was exhausting to her.
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And she didn't have anything left to like manage the actual experience.
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And so I love that in, I mean, in the work that I do, right, I get to help kids cultivate those tools so they can manage their mood more easily and like automate that process to an extent so that they can just easily manage their mood or actively manage their mood so that they can engage with different experiences.
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In your setting, if you see a kiddo who's having trouble managing their mood, they're away from home, they're having a rough go, what are some of the ways you kind of encourage or help them to regulate in order to engage with the experience?
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Oh, this is a beautiful question.
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We take them away from the Stressor.
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So whether the stressor is, I didn't get picked to be part of a group, and now I don't have a partner.
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Then the first thing we do is walk them away from the group.
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And then we'll say, you know what?
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You have all of these counselors.
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Who would you like to partner with?
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You actually get to choose the best partners around.
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Yeah.
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And then they're like, oh, wow, this is great.
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So then they partner with a camp counselor.
00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:35.440
So the point is that I want parents to remember is moving them away from the thing that is stressing them.
00:22:35.599 --> 00:23:19.440
So for example, if two children are having a conflict and you stand in front of the two children and you're having one explain what happened and then the other explain what happened, they get so wrapped up in the fight, the argument that they were having that they are not calming down, they're not able to effectively communicate, and just taking a few steps away or even further away, going for a walk, going out in the backyard, going out on your apartment balcony, that alone can de-escalate a situation because it's hard to have your nervous system calm down when you're still in the fight, mentally in the fight.
00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:20.079
Yeah.
00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:21.200
Yeah, I love that.
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:22.319
That's so well put.
00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:26.319
And I think recognizing capacity, right?
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:47.519
I think sometimes when kids are escalated like that, we want, we want to get through the situation or we need them to resolve it when we're better served by putting some space between the child in the situation or the children or whatever this, you know, whatever's going on right then, and let the resolution come a little bit later when everybody has a little bit more regulation in place.
00:23:48.319 --> 00:24:06.160
And you know, since 2020, children and the adults who love them have been under tremendous stressors from the COVID lockdown and the isolation brought on by that, the rapid change of technology and social change, the epidemic of loneliness, the drug epidemic.
00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:06.640
Yeah.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:20.000
Children came to camp and within minutes, the first thing they wanted to do was just talk about the thing that was troubling them that they felt like they couldn't tell anyone else within minutes.
00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:27.839
So we have like a 45-minute drive to camp, and children were talking with each other.
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:33.759
Group therapy is the fastest way to feel real results.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:38.160
You can ask any therapist, but also Dr.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:56.480
Nicholas Carderas talks about in his practice how group therapy helped people with mood disorders that they were struggling with so much faster when they were in a peer group versus a one-on-one setting with their therapist.
00:24:56.640 --> 00:25:07.759
And so the children being able to talk to each other on the bus and then connecting with a camp counselor, and within hours they were telling us their entire life stories.
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:09.680
And this was unsolicited.
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:14.000
This was not us sitting down, okay, kids, what's bothering you?
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:18.559
It was, hey, camp counselor, can I talk with you?
00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:29.119
And 25% of the youth participants, ages six to 16, expressed thoughts of suicide, actively planning their suicide.
00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:42.960
When they came home from camp, we got so many cards and letters and phone calls from parents and caregivers and grandparents who said, What did you do with my grandchild, for example?
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:45.119
And of course, no one wants to hear that.
00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:47.759
We're like, oh gosh, what happened?
00:25:48.160 --> 00:26:00.079
And they're like, He's a totally different child, he's not afraid of the dark, he's not arguing with his siblings, he's so much happier and full of confidence.
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:12.079
And we just we knew that it was going to work fast because I've been involved in using these techniques with adults like veterans and people with disabilities.
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.960
But I thought it would take longer with children.
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:17.279
It was even faster with children.
00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:21.599
Yeah, it is one of the most amazing things about kids, right?
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:26.319
Is that they have this natural like homing tendency toward optimal development.
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:37.200
And if you can give them the tools and the opportunity or just the safe space, right, they'll find their way to what they need or how they want to grow.
00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:39.920
Or it really is an incredible thing to witness.
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:43.920
And I hear you about the speed with which kids change.
00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:46.319
I coach kids usually for about a year.
00:26:46.559 --> 00:27:04.960
But when I worked with adults, we would be navigating some of the same tendencies and some of the same problem after years and years and years and years and years, and we're still just trying to get to the root of it or trying to help ameliorate some of the consequences of that way of thinking or that way of operating in the world for so long.
00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:22.079
And it's like with kids, if you give them the space to optimize and you're a safe space for them to engage with conversation, tell their story, kind of give themselves a narrative about what they have experienced and what they want to experience, they can shift so much.
00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:37.920
And you know, for parents who don't understand why a child can connect so deeply, so quickly with a stranger versus the people who love them the most, here's the thing when, and I'll give you an a real-world example.
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:50.240
When an 11-year-old said, None of the children like me because I don't understand what their faces are telling me, because I haven't seen anybody's face in a long time.
00:27:50.960 --> 00:27:52.640
And I want to go home.
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.559
So I took him to the side and I said, You know what?
00:27:57.119 --> 00:28:06.640
Not seeing faces for a long time can make it really hard to know what people are communicating with their face and with their body.
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:13.279
But instead of going home yet, maybe in a little while, how about we try something?
00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:14.720
And he, of course, said, Okay.
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:26.000
And so I said, I'm going to make changes with my face and with my body, and I'm going to tell you what it means, and then we'll practice it and see how you feel.
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:29.119
If you still want to go home after that, you can go home.
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:35.039
I went through like a few human emotions and I practiced that with him afterward.
00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:36.960
And he said, Okay, I'm fine now.
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:38.240
He went back and played.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:47.359
Children loved him after that because he was less socially awkward and you know, not standing so close, and you know, all of the things.
00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:49.119
And he had a great time.
00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:59.279
And he came home from camp like a different person, and then he taught his sister, who was struggling with the same thing, but she's older, what I taught him.
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:05.039
That's the incredible impact of human connection.
00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:06.160
Yes.
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:11.119
I love that so much, and and also the self-awareness.
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:18.160
And I think it's like you said, if parents are wondering, like, why isn't my kid telling me this or what's going on?
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:25.920
Sometimes there are things that they're worried about, maybe like making a parent feel bad, right?
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:29.599
Or they they don't want to induce guilt in you.
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:43.039
And I think a lot of times it's not as much of a withholding to be hurtful, especially with little kids, as it is a withholding out of thoughtfulness.
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:45.200
I agree with that.
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:59.920
And here's what I've noticed when I asked children, especially the ones who talked about suicide, especially and the ones who were worried about their parents who were struggling to recover from COVID.
00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:09.200
The reason they didn't tell their parents was some of the responses they gave were, I didn't want my parents to feel bad.
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.839
They are already dealing with so many things.
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:14.640
I didn't want to add one more thing.
00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:18.079
My family doesn't talk.
00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:19.680
We're not talkers.
00:30:20.480 --> 00:30:34.240
We don't sit around the dinner table and talk like we do here at camp, you know, because we sit around tibbles and talk, we sit around campfires and talk, we walk and talk on hikes and activities, we go kayaking and we talk.
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:42.000
And so the counselors don't have a reaction to what the kids are saying, other than compassion and empathy.
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.279
But we're not saying, what do you mean you don't feel loved?
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:49.440
Don't I show you I love you every day, I feed you, I clothe you, I take you places.
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:51.599
We don't have those kinds of reactions.
00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:58.960
And sometimes a child wants to tell you what they're experiencing, but they don't want you to jump in and fix it.
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:00.559
Oh, you're being bullied at school.
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:02.559
I'm gonna go to school tomorrow.
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:09.119
Negotiate with the kid about what they think would be the best way to solve this.
00:31:09.279 --> 00:31:13.279
And believe it or not, they'll come up with some really good answers sometimes.
00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:14.079
Yeah.
00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:14.640
Yeah.
00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:16.240
Those are such great examples.
00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:27.519
And I think the main point being it's normal as parents that we're gonna have those defensive responses or that we're gonna have a strong response if our kid is telling us something at school is awful.
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.480
I mean, it's normal for us to want to take action, right?
00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:48.000
And so I think having a village and having a community is one of the reasons that we have the we have the opportunity when we have a village or a community to have our kids around other people who are trusted who can then help them practice articulating some of that stuff, normalize what they're feeling.
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:58.799
So then they have more confidence to share it in other places or with parents or have a different idea on how to go about sharing it in a way that's gonna be received.
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:02.480
Without reaction, without an emotional reaction.
00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:03.359
Exactly.
00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:03.920
Yeah.
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:04.720
Yeah.
00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:18.880
Well, this it also touches on the idea of teamwork, both from like build your village standpoint, but also it takes a village in the camp, right, to help facilitate all these experiences, both like kid-to-kid interactions, kid-to-counselor interactions.
00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:27.680
Talk to us about how you see teamwork being a template for kids then going home and building stronger relationships with their people.
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:28.720
Yeah.
00:32:28.799 --> 00:32:34.960
So, you know, we live in an uber competitive world, especially with the advent of social media.
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:39.200
You always see people having the best days of their lives, right?
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:40.720
As individuals.
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:57.920
So when you tell a child to work as a team with their siblings, but you don't ever give them a lot of opportunity to experience teamwork in a positive way, then it's kind of hard for you to go out and do it.
00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:59.759
And I'll give you an example for my own family.
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:01.119
I'm the youngest of five.
00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:09.920
And my parents would give us a task like, I want you to rake up all of the leaves in the backyard, bag them up, and then you can get your allowance.
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:11.759
Everyone will get their allowance.
00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:16.640
Well, my siblings would argue first about who's gonna do what.
00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:23.599
They really didn't know how to work as a team, but my parents kept telling us, go work as a team, go work as a team.
00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:32.400
I played, well, not played, I was on a track team, and very early on I became a track assistant captain.
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:46.000
And so I learned the importance of teamwork, and I was able to, even though I was the youngest, show my siblings how teamwork looks in action.
00:33:46.079 --> 00:33:54.559
Because a lot of times parents use words that kids don't have enough world experience to know really know what you mean.
00:33:54.880 --> 00:34:15.039
So we one of the things that we do is we tell children that we're going to a place that has a certain amount of risk: wild animals, cliffs, because we're in the mountains of Colorado, you know, heat, cold, storms, all kinds of things.
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:21.360
And the only way that all of us are going to make it home safely is if we work together as a team.
00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:24.000
And this is what teamwork looks like.
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:35.039
So we instill in them what we our expectations of teamwork is, how it looks, and then we go off and do it.
00:34:35.119 --> 00:34:38.559
And we give them, we immediately give them one task.
00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:44.880
So our task as a team is to get everyone on the bus in buses in 15 minutes.
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:49.280
Now, you figure out how you're gonna make this work.
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:51.440
Let's go, team.
00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:52.320
And you know what?
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:55.440
They scramble, they're like, bye, mom, bye, dad, gotta go.
00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:58.800
No long goodbyes, no cries, no nothing.
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:01.280
It's like I'm part of a team now, I gotta go.
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:07.519
I'm responsible for the person on my left, the person on my right, the person in front of me, the person behind.
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:08.719
I don't have time for you.
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:09.760
We're we're moving.
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:10.239
Yeah.
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:23.119
So when you do that, when you explain the task, you model it for them and immediately give them an opportunity to practice it with something very small and inconsequential, and you make it okay to fail.
00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:33.199
So, like the campers who were the littlest campers, the six-year-olds, they were struggling to get on the bus with their bags and all the things, but they tried really hard.
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:35.519
And older campers helped them.
00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:38.960
We the camp counselors didn't have to jump in.
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:50.079
But we were very compassionate with the younger campers and saying, Oh my goodness, you tried so hard to be a good team player, but you know what?
00:35:50.239 --> 00:35:51.840
That bag is bigger than you.
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:54.880
I can understand why you couldn't achieve this goal.
00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:58.400
But you know, high five for trying super hard.
00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:03.280
And they feel good about themselves, even though they failed, but they tried very hard.
00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:04.239
Yeah.
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:07.199
Oh, I love those examples, and that's so genius.
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:10.000
Get on the bus, and we gotta get on the bus in 15 minutes.
00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:10.800
You gotta work together.
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:15.199
And they're like, Oh, I don't have time to like focus on how sad I feel right now or scared.
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:18.639
I gotta action plan, like I gotta get make stuff happen with the team.
00:36:19.360 --> 00:36:21.599
It's kind of like what we do in the army.
00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:24.800
So, in the in the military, I'll tell you the secret sauce.
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:29.119
You break someone down and then you build them up.
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:50.639
But we do it a lot gentler with kids and adults, but you you break them down in a gentle way, and then you build them up and you empower them to know that they have all the skills they need to go out and do this thing, and then you allow them to fail if they fail, retrain and go out and do it again.
00:36:50.880 --> 00:37:01.440
So I really shocked parents because I was talking to their children in a way that if they talked to them that way, it would they would start crying.
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:04.719
So I was kind of like, you know, the nice drill sergeant.
00:37:04.960 --> 00:37:06.559
Okay, kids, this is your task.
00:37:06.639 --> 00:37:09.119
Get on the bus, 15 minutes, go team.
00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:16.480
And they want to please you, they're like, okay, you know, and and I'll tell them I used to be a staff sergeant in the army.
00:37:16.800 --> 00:37:19.679
Would you like to know what it feels like to be in the army?
00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:21.760
Okay, great.
00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:25.679
They just gave me permission to do the thing I was gonna do anyway.
00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:32.000
But if you know, you really have to be creative and compassionate.
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:41.039
And I don't mean ordering your children around like they're little soldiers or Marines, but the matter of fact, this is what I expect from you.
00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:44.000
Yeah, we don't have time for crying, let's go.
00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:48.960
I actually told that to a kid in front of their parent, like, yeah, we don't have time for crying, let's go.
00:37:49.039 --> 00:37:50.000
Your team's waiting on you.
00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:50.880
He's like, Okay.
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:53.679
And she's like, What?
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:56.800
I totally expected him not to get on that bus.
00:37:57.519 --> 00:37:58.480
He did it.
00:37:58.800 --> 00:37:59.599
He did it.
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:13.199
Yeah, well, and I think too, one of the things that I think I'm remembering from my own experience at different like girls go camp and you know, youth camp is the ability to compartmentalize.
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:20.480
And sometimes you think those emotions at saying goodbye or the fear is so big you can't, you can't possibly move through it, you know.
00:38:20.559 --> 00:38:25.599
But then something invites you to, and you are able to say, like, oh, this fear can be here, right?
00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:28.000
Again, back to like not letting worry drive.
00:38:28.239 --> 00:38:31.440
This can be here, but it's not gonna get my main attention.
00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:33.519
My main attention is over here.
00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:38.960
So, like, I don't, I don't actually have time right now to worry about this or to process it more deeply.
00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:44.800
I can notice it, acknowledge it, but I'm not gonna let it be the thing that's in my line of sight because I have work to do over here.
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:49.119
You know, we had a child whose parents are very outdoorsy.
00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:52.079
They love fishing and camping and hiking.
00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:59.599
And let's see, I think he was between nine and 11, and he was very fearful about everything.
00:38:59.760 --> 00:39:05.440
And his grandmother shared with me that since COVID, he became very fearful.
00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:09.920
And he wanted to go to camp, but he was afraid of it.
00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:22.960
And the parents really wanted him to get a lot out of camp so that they could experience adventure sports together as a family without a child who's who's really kind of paralyzed by fear.
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:31.599
So he really struggled with I can't, I won't, I'll never.
00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:41.440
And one of our instructors put him in a kayak and said, I promise you can do this, and I'm gonna be next to you all the way.
00:39:42.159 --> 00:39:43.599
Will you at least try it?
00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:47.519
And for now, we're just sitting in the kayak.
00:39:48.239 --> 00:39:50.320
Would you try getting out on the water?
00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:51.280
He said, Yes.
00:39:51.519 --> 00:40:00.159
He pushed him out on the water, the counselor jumped in his kayak while another counselor was holding his the camper's boat in position.
00:40:00.400 --> 00:40:05.119
They started paddling, and that was the last time they talked about fear.
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:13.440
And then when he came back, what our counselors were doing who were onshore was like, How was that?
00:40:13.599 --> 00:40:15.280
He goes, It was great.
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:17.519
And they said, Do you know what you just did?
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:19.440
And he goes, No, you were brave.
00:40:19.519 --> 00:40:21.119
Do you know what it means to be brave?
00:40:21.360 --> 00:40:25.119
No, it means being afraid, but doing it anyway.
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:31.920
And the kid was just kind of looking up in the air, side to side, like processing that.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:33.519
I was brave.
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:39.519
And then later he said, you know, we we told them the satellite phone is only for emergencies.
00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:44.559
And he said, I really want to call home and tell my mom that I was brave.
00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:46.559
And I said, This is an emergency.
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:48.159
Let's call home.
00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:50.960
Oh my gosh, I love it.
00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:51.920
Yes.
00:40:52.719 --> 00:41:01.920
Well, and I think again, let's talk about this a little bit too, because this is something families can replicate at home in a variety of situations, this idea of connection to nature.
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:05.440
But nature is grounding in so many instances, right?
00:41:05.599 --> 00:41:13.039
And so if you put a kid in nature and then do something adventurous, you're benefiting from the value of like nature grounding, right?
00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:16.639
And then the adventure, and it works together in beautiful ways.
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:20.639
So talk to me about the connection with nature that you see in these kids.
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:32.480
Yeah, so most of the kids came to camp with, because you know, it's Colorado, lots of people are outdoorsy, with some small amount of experience.
00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:43.440
Maybe, maybe they've gone for a hike or they've gone fishing once or twice, but none of them have, except maybe one that first year had gone camping.
00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:52.880
And so they didn't really have a strong connection to nature and didn't understand what this whole nature thing was about anyway.
00:41:53.599 --> 00:42:00.559
But when they were immersed in it, that's when it became real.
00:42:00.960 --> 00:42:11.280
And so sometimes you can do this in your own backyard, but it takes rearranging your backyard so that it's no longer a backyard, it's a campground.
00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:24.480
Or you can do this on your balcony and rearrange your balcony at your apartment so that it's now a tent on your balcony, and that just changes the perspective, even though you haven't really gone far.
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:27.199
Yeah, but it just changes the perspective.
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:36.320
And so when children start to feel like, do you mean I have a connection with the stars that I'm looking at?
00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:40.159
Do you mean I have a connection with the sun that I see?
00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:43.760
It's giving me vitamin D that's making me healthy.
00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:51.679
I'm getting magnesium out of the water that's controlling over 300 chemical responses in my body.
00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:52.159
What?
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:53.360
That's a thing.
00:42:53.599 --> 00:43:10.719
Once you start making those connections for children, they might not really understand the health benefits of magnesium that they get from water, but they do understand that I'm getting 300 of something from standing in this water, from swimming in this water.
00:43:11.039 --> 00:43:28.400
And then when they get home, incredibly, they start telling their parents, we should go swimming, because you know, mom, you might feel better if you get some magnesium in your body, or if you get some sunlight and get more vitamin D.
00:43:29.599 --> 00:43:43.119
These little ones are like little sponges, but we have to give them good water, not your not the water laden with forever chemicals, but good water.
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:46.800
So it what I call the toxic water.
00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:51.280
If you give poor glass of water and it's got forever chemicals, that's toxic.
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:59.519
If you are giving your child a new experience, but you're forcing it on you on them, you're not asking them.
00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:09.280
How they think and feel about it, you're not allowing them to have any input about the experience, then that's like giving them a glass of toxic water.
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:17.280
It's it could be beneficial, but you've made it harmful and they realize that and they don't want it.
00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:20.159
Yeah, that's such a great analogy.
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:29.280
And I think as we think about applying some of these things to home situations, there are going to be sometimes some hurdles, right?
00:44:29.360 --> 00:44:31.920
Because it is home and because you are the parent.
00:44:32.239 --> 00:44:49.760
But, you know, having their buy-in, trying challenging activities, finding local spaces where you can do some of these things, or like a ropes camp, or something within the sphere of your environment where you can facilitate activities that mimic some of these qualities.
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:57.119
But like you said, it's got to be resonant with them to the point that they're bought in rather than us forcing it.
00:44:57.519 --> 00:45:09.119
Well, you know, I'll give you an activity that you can do on every budget that can help your child take advantage of the health and social benefits of adventuring.
00:45:09.599 --> 00:45:15.840
So there are a lot of nonprofits that have low-cost events that you can look for in your community.
00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:23.440
And you can just search for nonprofit free, low-cost adventure.
00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:26.480
And you should come up with things.
00:45:26.559 --> 00:45:37.679
And especially if you or a family member has a disability of some sort, there are many programs for families that are low income or have a disability.
00:45:38.639 --> 00:45:42.719
So you might not have to create these opportunities on your own.
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:44.480
There might be programs that already exist.
00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:51.039
Our camp is free, it's 100% donation-based from our donors and grants.
00:45:51.199 --> 00:45:55.599
So every child, every adult gets to come at no cost.
00:45:56.079 --> 00:45:58.639
We do have camp for adults, believe it or not.
00:45:58.880 --> 00:45:59.360
I love it.
00:45:59.599 --> 00:46:02.239
Because a lot of adults don't have a connection to nature.
00:46:03.039 --> 00:46:18.800
And then the other way that you can make it affordable is teaming up with people in your network, whether it's other parents at work or in your community or in your religious community and family.
00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:20.400
You can ask cousins.
00:46:20.559 --> 00:46:22.800
And so it does a couple of things.
00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:31.760
One, you can send your kids to a camp-like experience with a friend or a neighbor, and then they will come to a camp-like experience with you.
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:37.039
And that gives you a little time to yourself, or you can do it together as families.
00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:46.719
You can rent a campground in some places for as little as$5 or$20 and just rent a campground, a camp space at a campground.
00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:56.079
If you don't have tents, you could rent them, you could borrow them, or you could just bring blankets, pillows, and make your own tent.
00:46:56.639 --> 00:46:59.280
There's so many ways you can camp out of your car.
00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:02.079
There are so many ways to get the camping experience.
00:47:02.239 --> 00:47:18.880
But there's something magical when you look up at the stars and there's an absence of light, there's an absence of human-made sound, and you just feel so close to nature, you feel so close to God if that's part of your belief system.
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:33.920
And your nervous system without you attempting to meditate or doing some EFT tapping, you don't have to do anything.
00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:39.920
Your nervous system just calms down because it's in this place that's calm.
00:47:40.880 --> 00:47:56.960
Even if there's a danger of mountain lions and bears, like in our situation, uh it's just a very calming place to be, and it's away from all of your problems, all of the bullies at school, all the pressures at work.
00:47:57.119 --> 00:47:59.920
It just melts away for everyone, not just the children.
00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:05.519
And then as a family, you can work together as a team to set up the tent.
00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:16.559
Work together as a team to cook a meal, to clean up your dishes, to plan an activity like going kayaking the next day or riding bicycles.
00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:30.079
So there's all these very low-cost ways to get outside and show your child resilience and stick to itness, and that they are more capable than they think.
00:48:30.480 --> 00:48:35.360
And then here's the kicker: even for a reluctant child, I don't want to do this.
00:48:35.760 --> 00:48:41.440
But little Johnny, how would you like to be the most interesting kid at school on Monday?
00:48:41.599 --> 00:48:42.880
Tell me more, mom.
00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:43.840
Right?
00:48:44.079 --> 00:48:45.920
We did that with kids at camp.
00:48:46.079 --> 00:48:56.480
We told them before we got on the buses, you're gonna be the most interesting kid in school when you get back because you're gonna have experience that almost no one's gonna have.
00:48:56.719 --> 00:48:59.360
And they were super excited about that.
00:49:00.239 --> 00:49:01.360
That's fantastic.
00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:03.519
Those ideas are so, so good.
00:49:04.239 --> 00:49:08.880
It's also reminding me of the number of camping items I've seen at secondhand shops.
00:49:09.039 --> 00:49:10.239
Like I like to thrift.
00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:24.159
And there's so many, whether it's chairs or a tent or umbrella for a day outside at the beach or up in the mountains or wherever, so many really inexpensive, you know, you're gonna get it dirty anyway because you're about to go camping.
00:49:24.239 --> 00:49:28.639
So, like if somebody had a little bit of dirt on it before you, no big deal.
00:49:28.880 --> 00:49:33.599
But I think the things that you shared, like it illustrates the simplicity of it, right?
00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:40.559
Like it can be an experience orchestrated, like the camp that you run, and it could be an incredible facilitated experience.
00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:46.960
And it can also be an afternoon or a weekend in the mountains or in whatever nature setting is near you.
00:49:47.039 --> 00:49:53.760
In San Antonio, we would go spend some time out sometimes in the desert parts or in the hill country, just whatever you could get.
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:57.519
But I think that the commonality is the space, right?
00:49:57.679 --> 00:50:17.519
It's the space from your everyday life, the space from the struggles that you're facing, and it's the space in nature where you can connect with yourself in a different way and you can connect with people, with the land around you, with your spirituality, with whatever you would find rejuvenating to connect with in that moment.
00:50:17.599 --> 00:50:20.400
In addition to nature, there's just space for it, right?
00:50:20.559 --> 00:50:30.239
Those conversations by the campfire, like you're saying, if our phone's not going off and we're not doing the laundry and we're not trying to figure out what's for dinner tomorrow, and we do have a different kind of space when we're outside.
00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:30.960
Yeah.
00:50:31.199 --> 00:50:37.599
And you know, around the campfire, families have conversations that they don't typically have.
00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:48.159
For example, I took my future in-laws camping in the mountains of Colorado, and they had not been camping since they were children.
00:50:48.559 --> 00:51:02.719
And they were with my fiance and his brother, and they started talking about their childhood camping experiences and what they did, and how it was very different from what we did today.
00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:11.280
They felt like what the way that we did it was much more fun because we made it fun versus like we've got to do this thing by this time and let's go.
00:51:11.360 --> 00:51:12.960
Yeah, not we're gonna okay.
00:51:13.039 --> 00:51:21.519
We're on a time schedule because the sun is going to set and we need to have things buttoned up before the bears come out, or you know, whatever.
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:24.239
We're on nature's time schedule, right?
00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:38.960
We're on nature's time schedule, but it doesn't have to be like an angry drill sergeant, it can still be fun, and so their sons got to hear stories that they never heard before, and like, wow, mom and dad, you had a life before us.
00:51:39.119 --> 00:51:40.559
That's great, you know.
00:51:40.960 --> 00:51:53.280
And your kids really do want to have a deeper connection with you, and they don't want to see you as just the person that takes care of food, water, shelter, safety.
00:51:53.519 --> 00:52:23.280
They want to see you as a full human being, and it's something liberating, I think, when you learn that your parents have a history and that they're interesting people, and that they had a life before you were born, and this is what their life was like, and especially if you can admit your fears, your hurdles, your challenges.
00:52:24.559 --> 00:52:27.760
I don't know, didn't get to have that with my parents.
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:40.159
And whenever I take seniors out and family members like my fiance's uncles, we do a lot of recreating, a lot of like ice fishing and kayaking together.
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:49.199
And having those experiences with them, it's still beautiful, you know, even though I'm old enough to be a grandma myself.
00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:52.320
But that is beautiful.
00:52:52.480 --> 00:52:56.639
Well, and I think too, it's like you said, seeing your parent in a different setting.
00:52:56.800 --> 00:53:10.079
And we touched a little bit on problem solving when you're in nature, but when you have limited resources and you can't just Amazon the solution that will arrive between three and five that afternoon, you have to be a little bit more resourceful, right?
00:53:10.239 --> 00:53:33.199
And so tuning into that quality in yourselves, in your kids, and letting them see the confidence that they can build in their creative problem solving or see you as a creative problem solver who like actually can get by without Amazon, believe it or not, those things are also valuable too, because those skills, just like all these other skills we're talking about, they translate back into life in some really beautiful ways.
00:53:33.519 --> 00:53:53.599
Yeah, I was just thinking that if you don't have outdoor recreation gear, no kayaks, no bows for you know, archery, no fishing rods, and no camping gear, you could say to your kids that you'd like to do this experience as a family.
00:53:53.920 --> 00:54:00.480
I know some of you might not be into it, but I think it might be a little bit fun.
00:54:01.039 --> 00:54:03.599
Can we just try it this one time?
00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:07.519
And we can't afford to go out and buy this stuff.
00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:13.840
How do you think we could maybe find a tent that we could use or something we could use as a tent?
00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:17.440
Get them involved in the process as much as possible.
00:54:17.920 --> 00:54:25.599
First of all, they'll probably be shocked that you're asking them their opinion about anything because kids told us that at camp.
00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:32.960
When we asked them, okay, the task is to build a fire, to build a fire safely, and here's what that means.
00:54:33.119 --> 00:54:34.480
How should we do it?
00:54:34.800 --> 00:54:37.199
So many kids were like, You're asking me?
00:54:37.599 --> 00:54:40.880
You're the adult, and like that was the response.
00:54:41.119 --> 00:54:43.039
And we said, Well, you know what?
00:54:43.199 --> 00:54:44.159
You're really smart.
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:53.599
I bet you can come up with 20 ways we can start a fire, and we let them problem solve how to start this fire so we can toast marshmallows and stay warm.
00:54:53.920 --> 00:55:14.320
And they built the fire, and just allowing your kids to feel like you value their intelligence, their creativity, their ability to problem solve and their skills will go a long way toward mending any difficult relationships you might have.
00:55:14.480 --> 00:55:23.920
And then the other thing that I'd really like parents to remember is when we take kids out into nature, we remove the toxins out of their life.
00:55:24.079 --> 00:55:37.760
They don't, they're not exposed to any toxins that might be in your home, like your cleaning products or mold or radon or carbon dioxide buildup, carbon monoxide buildup.
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:40.719
They're not exposed to toxic foods.
00:55:40.960 --> 00:55:42.800
We take out all the processed foods.
00:55:42.880 --> 00:55:48.400
If we have packaged snacks, they're very healthy ingredients and very few ingredients.
00:55:48.639 --> 00:55:56.400
We give them half their body weight in ounces of water, which is difficult to do with kids because they don't like to be told it's time to have water.
00:55:56.639 --> 00:55:59.519
We take away all the sugary drinks and they don't miss it.00:55:59.599 --> 00:56:01.119
They don't complain about it.00:56:01.360 --> 00:56:02.800
And they love it.00:56:02.960 --> 00:56:05.599
We get them involved in preparing meals.00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:21.760
So we take them to a toxin-free environment, we expose them to nature, we have them moving their bodies all day long, and we have them talking to other people because their devices don't work in the places we're taking them.00:56:22.079 --> 00:56:25.920
Yeah, so powerful, so beautiful.00:56:27.360 --> 00:56:30.320
I am grateful for the work you're doing.00:56:30.480 --> 00:56:33.440
I think that there's so much enthusiasm.00:56:33.519 --> 00:56:41.599
I'm seeing it every time you're talking about it, which I love it, but I think there's so much enthusiasm because you see what it does, right?00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:51.519
You have a very clear indicator of the impact of these types of experiences on children and then the resulting impact on families or on adults and on families.00:56:51.679 --> 00:57:02.239
And I think that in terms of priorities, building this in, and I'm reminded real quick: a lot of universities, if you live near a university, they'll have like an outdoor center where you can rent.00:57:02.639 --> 00:57:08.079
There's just if you open yourself up to the opportunity, there are ways to make it happen.00:57:08.239 --> 00:57:22.079
So instead of falling back, like you're saying, on we don't have the gear or we don't have the know-how, or we don't have this or that, once you decide to do it, corral the kids and problem solve together, how you can make it happen, right?00:57:22.159 --> 00:57:25.199
And then prioritizing that time outside is so important.00:57:26.079 --> 00:57:32.400
What we did in our community when we we started with nothing when we started this nonprofit.00:57:32.719 --> 00:57:39.119
And I just created a video and said, This is what I want to do for our community.00:57:39.360 --> 00:57:47.119
And people who saw that video on YouTube started making donations and they didn't even live in our part of the country.00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:50.880
And then I went to my local police chief.00:57:51.119 --> 00:57:52.400
He was brand new on the job.00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:53.199
I didn't know him.00:57:53.280 --> 00:58:01.519
I introduced myself and said, I'd like you to let me put you in a dunk tank to raise money for charity, and this is what we're gonna do with it.00:58:02.239 --> 00:58:03.599
And he said, Yes.00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:05.360
In fact, I'll bring friends.00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:10.960
So he bought the chief of police, fire, EMS, sheriff, and FBI special agent.00:58:11.119 --> 00:58:12.880
We put them all in a dunk tank.00:58:13.039 --> 00:58:15.199
The community had great fun dunking them.00:58:15.360 --> 00:58:17.679
I had great fun dunking them too.00:58:18.239 --> 00:58:25.519
We raised a ton of money, and we've kept these programs going for going into our sixth year.00:58:25.840 --> 00:58:35.840
And we started out with just children, then we did children and families, and then grandparents started coming to our events, and then they said, We'd like to have a camp for seniors, please.00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:42.400
Yes, and so we've been teaching seniors how to paddleboard and kayak, and there are adaptive sports.00:58:42.559 --> 00:59:00.480
So if you have a disability, if you have a mobile, stubili flexibility, if you don't have hearing, if you're blind, if you have sensory overload challenges, there's a way to adapt sports seven ways till Sunday.00:59:00.639 --> 00:59:10.960
And in fact, a young woman reached out to me on social media and she said, I am Melissa and I'm I call myself the wheelchair explorer.00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:16.639
And the first blind man to ever summon Everest is Eric Weinmere.00:59:16.800 --> 00:59:21.360
And that was like kind of an instant connection because I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm friends with Eric.00:59:21.519 --> 00:59:24.960
Well, he taught me how to hike in a wheelchair.00:59:25.119 --> 00:59:32.639
I've never been out of wheelchair since birth, and now I want to kayak, and I know you help people learn how to kayak.00:59:32.880 --> 00:59:38.800
Not only did I help her learn how to kayak, but I'm a sponsored adventure sports athlete, and I reached out to my sponsors.00:59:38.960 --> 00:59:43.920
They gave her$3,500 worth of gear, including her own adaptive kayak.00:59:44.079 --> 00:59:44.960
Oh my gosh.00:59:45.199 --> 00:59:50.639
And we taught her how to kayak with a team of volunteers in our community.00:59:50.880 --> 00:59:56.480
So when you put your minds together as a community, you can do incredible things.00:59:56.559 --> 00:59:59.280
So you can fundraise for these opportunities.00:59:59.519 --> 01:00:10.960
And our local police force and first responders viewed this program as one that they would recommend children who are at risk to attend.01:00:11.119 --> 01:00:14.239
And that's why they were so willing to go into a dunk tank.01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:16.719
So anyone can do this in their community.01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:21.039
And you might be thinking, I don't know anybody.01:00:21.199 --> 01:00:23.119
I didn't know our police chief.01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:30.000
I just walked up to him, a random stranger at a golf course, and said, Hey, I need your help.01:00:30.320 --> 01:00:32.000
So do you think, yeah.01:00:32.239 --> 01:00:43.360
Well, and I mean, I think too, the thing that I've found in my experience is that if people are in this line of work that you're in, they are enthusiastic about what they're doing, as same as you are, right?01:00:43.440 --> 01:00:45.679
And they are wanting you to come.01:00:45.840 --> 01:00:50.400
I know in our local community, we have something called Wasatch Adaptive Sports.01:00:50.559 --> 01:00:55.360
And they help people of all abilities to bike and ski.01:00:55.599 --> 01:01:01.039
And so my grandpa, at the time, he was 94 and he had limited mobility.01:01:01.280 --> 01:01:07.679
He used to love biking, would go outside all the time, and he was taught, he would talk about how he just couldn't do the stuff he used to be able to do.01:01:07.760 --> 01:01:09.760
You know, like at 94, he just was limited.01:01:09.840 --> 01:01:11.679
He couldn't do the stuff he used to love.01:01:11.840 --> 01:01:20.800
And initially, I got him a little like pedal bike for the living room, you know, for him to use, but it's not the same as going outside.01:01:21.360 --> 01:01:24.719
So eventually I found this wasat adaptive sports.01:01:25.039 --> 01:01:27.280
And it was amazing.01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:30.880
When I, I mean, I reached out to them and I'm like, you know, they have limited income.01:01:31.039 --> 01:01:32.400
I'm like, do I need to pay for him?01:01:32.559 --> 01:01:33.599
Like, what do we need to do?01:01:33.760 --> 01:01:35.039
And they're like, it's free.01:01:35.199 --> 01:01:35.840
Just bring him.01:01:36.000 --> 01:01:37.199
And I was like, he's 94.01:01:37.440 --> 01:01:41.199
You know, I'm listing off all the reasons why I think this is gonna be super challenging for him.01:01:41.360 --> 01:01:43.280
And they're like, just bring him.01:01:43.440 --> 01:01:44.239
We figure it out.01:01:44.320 --> 01:01:47.039
You know, we have people who do this every day for all kinds of people.01:01:47.199 --> 01:01:47.920
Just bring him.01:01:48.159 --> 01:01:49.840
So I made his appointment.01:01:50.079 --> 01:01:56.000
And the look on his face when he got on that bike and could pedal.01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:59.599
It had been decades since he had pedaled on the bike.01:01:59.760 --> 01:02:01.599
And he, it was a, you know, a recumbent.01:02:01.840 --> 01:02:02.559
So he's sitting down.01:02:02.639 --> 01:02:03.679
They fitted it to him.01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:10.320
And it felt very safe because they had, you know, like the strap that went with they could hold on to him, so he couldn't get too far away.01:02:10.400 --> 01:02:14.480
And they were like, Blaine, slow down, Blaine, Blaine, slow down a little bit.01:02:14.960 --> 01:02:17.280
You know, he just like took down the trail.01:02:17.360 --> 01:02:19.599
I'm like ready to keep up with him.01:02:19.840 --> 01:02:26.320
But it was so incredible just to see, again, the generosity of the people helping him because they were cheering for him.01:02:26.400 --> 01:02:34.559
There's all these guys there, you know, they each had their own client they were working with, but they were all stopping the chair from the 94-year-old who's like doing loops around this park.01:02:34.800 --> 01:02:36.880
And again, I was like, Well, how much do I need?01:02:37.360 --> 01:02:38.719
They're like, it's this is free.01:02:38.800 --> 01:02:39.679
You just bring him.01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:42.000
And they're like, How many appointments do you want to make?01:02:42.159 --> 01:02:52.480
You know, and I think that if, like you said, if you look for it, a lot of times there's super generous, big-hearted people who just want to help you have the experience.01:02:52.639 --> 01:02:57.679
And it all it takes, all it took was me overcoming my fear of reaching out for him to have that day.01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:10.320
Often, if you reach out to like kayaking clubs or archery clubs, and you just say, I don't have any money, I don't have any equipment, but I have a child or a senior or myself.01:03:10.480 --> 01:03:13.039
Yeah, I've been wanting to learn this sport.01:03:13.760 --> 01:03:17.599
Is there anyone who has any old equipment that I could buy?01:03:18.079 --> 01:03:23.039
Almost always, someone will say, I have something so old, I wouldn't even sell it to you.01:03:23.119 --> 01:03:24.400
You can just have it.01:03:24.800 --> 01:03:32.480
Or they'll say, We don't have anything you can buy, but you can come to our events and we'll let you borrow some equipment.01:03:32.800 --> 01:03:33.039
Yeah.01:03:33.440 --> 01:03:35.519
So there's if just be creative.01:03:35.679 --> 01:03:39.840
There's so many ways to get outside in an adventure, and you can do simple things.01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:49.039
Like I have an episode on my New Normal Big Life podcast about creating dandelion gummies, and children love this activity.01:03:49.199 --> 01:04:02.000
You go out and you pick dandelions, what we think of as weeds, but they're filled with vitamins and micronutrients, and you make dandelion gummies, and it's a very low-cost activity.01:04:02.159 --> 01:04:26.960
You might spend, I don't know, ten dollars, and that includes the molds, and then you make these gummies together, and then you can eat them and enjoy them as a family, and you introduce your children to foraging, and it's just a beautiful way to enjoy nature together that's very low cost, and you can download the recipe from the show description.01:04:27.280 --> 01:04:28.880
Yeah, I'm I wrote that down.01:04:29.039 --> 01:04:34.159
I love I love foraging, I'm not very good at it, so I have to be kind of cautious.01:04:34.320 --> 01:04:35.360
But Danny Lions.01:04:35.679 --> 01:04:40.559
Oh, I tell you how to get started in that episode, also all the things you need to know.01:04:41.039 --> 01:04:45.360
So we we cover foraging and wildcrafting, how that's different.01:04:45.440 --> 01:04:51.599
It's using natural materials to make something else, to craft something out of it.01:04:51.840 --> 01:05:00.400
So, if for viewers who can see this episode, if you look in the over this shoulder, I guess it's my left shoulder.01:05:00.639 --> 01:05:06.480
I've got some branches that were in our forest that would become kindling in a wildfire.01:05:06.639 --> 01:05:08.400
So we wanted to get rid of them.01:05:08.559 --> 01:05:13.440
So we just brought them indoors, attached little airplant holders to it.01:05:13.599 --> 01:05:17.039
And now we have this beautiful branches and air plants.01:05:17.199 --> 01:05:19.519
And those are things you can do with your children.01:05:19.599 --> 01:05:21.039
It's very low cost.01:05:21.440 --> 01:05:24.000
You're helping to clean up the forest floor.01:05:24.239 --> 01:05:35.039
And in a lot of places, you can pay$5 for a permit, and you can go forage in state parks and county parks and even national parks.01:05:35.199 --> 01:05:41.760
You can pay$25 and forage for your own Christmas tree that you get to cut down as a family.01:05:41.920 --> 01:05:52.159
And you're doing a service because the park would have to pay their staff to go in and remove that tree so that the other trees around it can spread their canopy.01:05:52.239 --> 01:05:55.679
So you're actually doing a service by foraging for that tree.01:05:56.000 --> 01:05:56.639
I love it.01:05:56.719 --> 01:05:59.760
Well, that was a perfect segue into how can people learn more about you.01:06:00.239 --> 01:06:02.800
Now I'm like everybody's gonna be on your podcast now.01:06:03.039 --> 01:06:06.000
So tell us, yeah, tell us more about how people can connect.01:06:06.079 --> 01:06:06.800
This has been lovely.01:06:06.880 --> 01:06:08.079
I could talk to you all day long.01:06:08.480 --> 01:06:09.519
How can people find out?01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:11.280
So much, Lindsay.01:06:11.760 --> 01:06:18.800
I love it if you'd start listening to New Normal Big Life on 10 Plus platforms wherever you get your podcast.01:06:19.280 --> 01:06:28.320
And why this show is different is that we don't just tell you all these wonderful things and then in your busy schedule, you have to go figure out how to do it.01:06:28.639 --> 01:06:45.760
In every episode, there's a step-by-step plan to practice what those medical experts or I maybe through my research and experience, but most of the time I'm interviewing MDs and other medical experts about your biggest health challenges.01:06:45.840 --> 01:06:55.119
You can also submit your challenge to the show, and we'll find an expert to help you find answers and then cover that for you.01:06:55.280 --> 01:07:10.239
We also have an ebook that publishes all of the great takeaways, like how to improve your cognition and prevent Alzheimer through using uh so sorry, it's late in the day and I've had a brain injury.01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:19.119
So I'm drawing a blank, how to use uh creatine monohydrate to prevent Alzheimer's just five grams twice a day.01:07:19.280 --> 01:07:23.360
So all of these little tips and takeaways you can get for free.01:07:23.519 --> 01:07:26.400
Uh there's also nnbl.blog.01:07:26.480 --> 01:07:31.760
And if you sign up for our losed letter, you'll get those tips in your inbox every week.01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:40.159
And you'll also have access to download all of our old step-by-step plans and our ebooks, our current and future e-books.01:07:40.639 --> 01:07:41.119
Amazing.01:07:41.360 --> 01:07:42.480
And it's all free.01:07:43.760 --> 01:07:45.440
Thank you so much, Antoinette.01:07:45.519 --> 01:07:47.840
This has been such a joy to connect with you today.01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:50.960
I again am grateful for the work you're doing in the world.01:07:51.039 --> 01:07:52.800
And thanks for being on the show.01:07:53.119 --> 01:07:54.719
Thank you for having me, Lindsay.01:07:54.800 --> 01:07:55.840
This has been fun.01:07:56.960 --> 01:07:57.920
Take care.01:07:59.440 --> 01:08:01.519
Thanks for listening to the Stress Nanny.01:08:01.599 --> 01:08:07.119
If you found today's episode helpful, be sure to share it with a friend who could use a little extra calm in their week.01:08:07.280 --> 01:08:09.840
And if you have a minute, I'd love for you to leave a review.01:08:09.920 --> 01:08:13.119
It helps other parents find the show and join us on this journey.01:08:13.360 --> 01:08:18.399
For more tools and support, head over to www.thestressnanny.com.01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:20.640
Remember, you don't have to do stress alone.01:08:20.800 --> 01:08:24.720
Together we can raise kids who know how to navigate life with confidence and ease.01:08:24.880 --> 01:08:28.640
Until next time, take a deep breath and give yourself some grace.
