Should we get a new pet?

Lindsay Miller  0:07  
You're listening to The Stress Nanny podcast and I'm your host, Lindsay Miller. I'm here to help you keep an eye on your family stress levels. In our fast paced lives, the ability to manage stress has never been more important for kids or adults. When it comes to stress, we have two choices we can decrease stress or increase our resilience to it. Here on the number eight ranked stress podcast, I interview experts and share insights to help you do both. When you tune in each week, you'll bring your stress levels down and your resilience up so that stress doesn't get in the way of you living your best life. I'm so glad you're here. 

Hey, there this is Lindsay. Thanks so much for joining me this week on the podcast, we are talking about pets, which pets would be a good fit for a family looking for a pet and then how to kind of ease the transition and involve kids in developmentally appropriate ways. My guest is Dr. Carol Osborne, and she's fantastic. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Welcome to the stress nanny podcast. I'm your host Lindsay Miller and I'm delighted that you're here to make your life a little less stressful. My guest today is Dr. Carol Osbourne. She's an author and world renowned integrative veterinarian of 20 plus years after graduating from the Ohio State College of Veterinary Medicine, Dr. Carroll completed a prestigious internship at the Columbus Zoo. Shortly afterwards, she launched a very successful private practice and became the founder and director of the nonprofit organization the American pet Institute. She offers a traditional veterinary care for dogs with a softer natural touch, and her approach highlights the importance of nutrition and utilizing holistic avenues in combination with traditional treatments. Her first two books naturally healthy cats and naturally healthy dogs hit the international bestseller list. The multifaceted Dr. Osborn is also an Emmy nominated television journalist. She's gained national prominence to her frequent appearances on popular shows including Fox and Friends, the Today Show discovers Animal Planet and good de la where she was the on camera staff veterinarian. She's also been featured in USA Today, the LA Times The Ladies Home Journal woman's world in style pet nd dogs naturally she knows.com and The New York Daily News, Dr. Girl, thank you so much for joining me. I'm really excited about our conversation. Well, thanks for having me. So we're gonna dive in today to some questions about how to help kids acclimate to pets, because it can be stressful, just the thought of introducing a new pet into the household and all the different things that you need in terms of supplies and food. And whether you're having crates and toys, and all the things that part is stressful. But then also there's like an emotional and relational piece that is sometimes hard to kind of wrap our brains around, right?

Dr. Carol Osborne  2:50  
Absolutely.

Lindsay Miller  2:52  
So what do you see when when you're helping people make like an initial introduction to a new pet and a small child or you know, someone else in the house? What are some of the best ways people can do that?

Dr. Carol Osborne  3:04  
Well, Lindsay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a step back from there. I think one of the most important considerations is, before you buy a pet, or adapt to pet, you need to do your homework, be responsible, don't buy on impulse. And if you're a mom, you need to be very honest with yourself about the amount of time and work that you are willing to put into a pet. For moms with kids like most of us, you are essentially adding one more child to your family. And you will be responsible to take care of that pet for the next 10 to 15 plus years. Now, don't expect your kids or your husband to take care of your pet. Because I can assure you that you will be the one taking on the chores. So with that being said if you find yourself in a situation where maybe taking on another pet doesn't seem like it's the right time, for example, you know, you could read books, you can go with perhaps your child to a shelter and volunteer. You can go to dog and cat shows to familiarize yourself not only with the options, but also the responsibilities. Now what if you decide that your situation isn't right for purchase, but maybe you want to foster pet and that would give you and your little ones a chance to decide if pet ownership is a good decision for you. So once you've done all those things, and again before you get that pet, I think the three most important considerations are personal ality lifestyle and the home environment. And when I say personality, I feel that matching the personality of the pet, with the personality of the person receiving the pet is the single most important consideration whether the pet is for yourself or for your child. And when it comes to breed, it's the temperament of the breed. That's extremely important, especially where kids are concerned. Because the last thing you want to do is get a dog and bring it home and your child has an incident with it, you know, they get scratched, or they get bitten or something like that, which which is not not an uncommon situation. So, once you've figured all those things out, and I will put in one more little tip, as a veterinarian, I have moms and dads come into my office all the time. For example, the mom and the dad come in with a 90 pound Rottweiler. And as we're taking care of whatever it is they came in for, they then proceeded to tell me that they got the dog for their child. Well, first of all, a Rottweiler Rottweiler is a terrible choice of a pet for a child. And what I'm trying to explain, I guess is is that a pet is such a personal decision, that it is nearly impossible, you know, to choose what's the best pet for this particular individual? Unless, of course, the individual is you. And it's, it's we're doing, you know, the family pet, which in this situation, I think I think we are, then there are many, many more considerations to consider. Before bringing an animal home that will actually work with you, your family and your kids, for example. Let's count up the family members and their ages. Then let's find out with the different members of the family. What are they interested in a dog a cat goldfish and a Guana? Are there other pets in the home? If so? Are they dogs? Are they cats? A? How old? Are they? What sex? Are they? Are they neutered? Where do you live? You live in the city? Where do you live in the country? Do you have a yard? If you do? Is it a big yard? Or a little yard? What do you do for a living? What is your lifestyle? Are you active? Are you kind of in the middle? Do you spend a lot of time, you know, kind of sitting around? How much time do you spend at home of course now, since the pandemic, many of us spend a lot more time at home, because so many of us are working from home. But again, think about it, do you travel a lot? You know how much are you home, if you travel a lot, who's going to take care of the pet. That's what we keep kind of coming back to grooming. Grooming is a big deal. What I say to people is, the bigger the pet and the more here he or she has, the more it's going to cost you and the higher the maintenance. That's that's a big deal. Breeds with a lot of hair, you know, every six to eight weeks, you're going to be at that groomer. And if you're not, you're going to be vacuuming up like crazy. If it's a short haired breed, which is much less maintenance, much lower cost. Maybe you and the kids can give the dog a bath. You know every four to eight weeks, it's a lot easier. What about temperament? What what is the best temperament for you, your children, your family? You know, common low key spirited, lively, active and energetic. How much do you exercise? Are you going to exercise with this pet? Because someone has to take that pet out. They've got to play it on walking the pet outside at least a couple hours a day. Seven days a week. Doesn't sound like much but you'd be surprised how it can be. We talked about traveling and the cost of boarding and pet sitters. And then is anybody in your house allergic allergic to pets very common. And then is there anyone in the home with a special need seen you know seizure detection hearing that kind of thing. So I think that keeping those considerations in mind is absolutely the first most important thing to consider, as well as the fact that mom's going to be doing 99.9% of the work. And then you think about all right, well, what can my kids do? So certainly, Mom, you're going to be the ones supervising your kids with those pets, kids five and under 100% direct supervision. And if you can't do that, the pet needs to be created or caged or confined in some way that he is completely separated from your kids, kids eight and older. Keep an eye on him. Especially if you have mischievous young boys, you you just you never know. And if you have little babies, you know in the crib, never let the pet in the baby's room. Unless you know you are right there. No matter how wonderful the pet is. You got a little baby there and you just can never be too careful, I think is the best the best way to put that. And make sure you have a pet poop lived on your diaper, hamper. Or else you might find those diapers kind of all over the house.

Lindsay Miller  11:21  
That's a that's a really good tip. Those are all fantastic. Thank you.

Dr. Carol Osborne  11:27  
You know, and a lot of you know what when it comes to the, you know, where we still have kids in you know, in the crate in the cradles and the strollers and those kinds of things. Dogs often forget their house training. Again, because it's the smell of the poop and the pee etc from your baby. And then there's a problem with the toys you know whose toys or whose you could do a little Listerine scent test. You dab the Listerine on the baby's toys. And then you play a game with your dog and you say, Where's your toy? And the idea is that the dog brings you the toys without the Listerine sense. Going on the fact that a dog sense of smell is quite keen. And that way you don't have your dog slobbering all over your, your child's toys is a good thing to keep in mind. And I know you're looking for directives. Just a couple more little this is a mess. You're looking for large purebred dogs, Labradors, golden Shelties and Collies. Those are good considerations. Kylie's great with quite quite kids, very high maintenance, regular grooming and lots of hair donation, you don't have to worry about the hair, good dog for adult, poor choice for a family dog or child boxer and Mastiff great with adults, not a good choice for kids, low maintenance and that they don't have much hair. But because they're big dogs, you have to think about the food that they eat, the cost involved there, as well as veterinary care, you know, shots worming, heartworm and flea prevention, things like that. Every time you add a pound, you can add add a couple dollars because it's going to cost you you know, more money, if you will. Terriers great choice if you have active young boys, they also like to dig up your garden. So mom might not be so keen about that. After Spaniels, great with adults bad choice for child mixed breed dogs, you know at the pound or the shelter, sometimes in my experience can give you the very very best of both worlds and sometimes I think that they know you gave them a second chance and they just ended up being the very best dogs you can ever imagine. If you're looking for kitty cats, main foods they have a personality like the dog, great for kids. Siamese smart, finicky temperamental and good for adults. Sphinx having these they don't have much hair so they're very low maintenance but probably not a great choice if you live in Florida or the hot sun because they don't have any here to protect them from all those UV rays if you will go into the allergy consideration be shines and some tools do not shed much light of these crossbred dogs. They've got all kinds of doodles today. And if you're looking for a doodle, once again, really do your homework, and don't get caught up in These online puppy mills, you need to meet the mind and meet the dad and not meet someone halfway, halfway between here and there. Because they've given you some excuse, take those as giant red flags. And as far as introductions, introducing kids to pets, again, age appropriate. Five, and under Bob is there every step of the way. Because they're kids, and they don't know, of course, you get a little stuffed animal. And you can have all kinds of lessons with stuffed animals for small children and, you know, merge them over to the real McCoy. But it's, it's a constant supervision. And Mom's going out there. And, you know, how do you feed? And what do you feed? When do you take them out? And where do you walk them? So in general, most kids, you know, it's a home run with a pet. But it's that supervision factor. And the fact that you can never expect your child to really take care of your pet, because it's a child. And they're growing up. And, you know, and learning as well, I don't know, that's probably a lot of things, too. A lot of things to to, you know, to keep in mind, I think those are probably the most important things that, you know, that I can think of is, you know, if you have a dog that isn't socialized and is very fearful, or you, you know, you go and you pick that puppy, that's all huddled up in the corner, probably a big mistake. Because why do people and children get bitten in most cases, the dogs are fearful. And so that's, that's, that's a whole nother story. situation, if you will. But if you have a friendly dog that's well socialized, which is the key to having not just a great pet, but in particular, a great family pet who's good with kids, then, you know, if the child accidentally, you know, pokes their ear, pulls their tail or does something that's a little bit unexpected, chances are the dog will just walk away and ignore it. But some other dogs that don't really have the personality, to put up with small children, etc. Sometimes, they're not as friendly. You know about that. You know, the old story about the cocker spaniel, and the child walked up to it to pin it to pet its head. But instead, she hits here. And it's a Cocker Spaniel, with Cocker air, you know, a booming ear infection, that they didn't realize whether the child gets bitten. Those kinds of stories are common. The dog didn't bite the child because it's mean. But because its ears painful and has been addressed. And no one knew. Today I'm sitting in my office with people that have been my clients for over 25 years. There's that too cocker spaniels. And we're constantly addressing the IRS. And lo and behold, I find out, they never even picked the dog's ear up, much less look inside. Which is mind boggling to me as a veterinarian, after all the things we've been through and, you know, I'm going on and on about cleaning and medicating and this and that. So just things, things like that, that sometimes we don't think of happen. And then with little children, what you don't want is, you know, to have a negative experience that, you know, makes the child fearful or afraid of a dog, for example, when in actuality, the dog will usually end up being the child's very best friend.

Lindsay Miller  19:04  
Yeah. Oh, those are fantastic insights. And what would you say? I mean, just one more quick question about that idea of startling because I think it's such a good point that, like, it can go both ways, like the pet could startle the child and the child's can startle the pet. Yeah. How? In those moments, like, Are there phrases that you use or ways that you kind of explain what type of interaction you're looking for, like, if the dog like helping kids kind of read what the dog is, or cat is, is wanting or needing like, I my niece was over the other day and my my dog is the just the right height that she can like, sit and lay on her. And so I want to be constantly you know, she loves her so much that she's just like, lay on her and give her a hug. And I'm like, remember, sweetheart, she she's not she's not strong enough to hold all of us. So you just give her gentle hug. Remember, we can't sit on her. But what are you You say to help kids connect without fear of hurting a pet, but also just like with a complete respect for, like the pet having its own needs, you know, what

Dr. Carol Osborne  20:10  
you said, was exactly correct you that the situation worked out supervision, it may not have ended up, you know the way that it did. So I'm assuming that your child is.

Lindsay Miller  20:27  
Yeah, my niece, yeah, she's four.

Dr. Carol Osborne  20:29  
So she's four years old, we set the benchmark at five for 100%, constant supervision, because it doesn't really matter how many times you say a thing, it could really mean, they might hear you, it doesn't mean that they're listening to you. And it doesn't mean that they're infringing. I say things to people over and over and over again. And these are clients, you know, that are there for whatever it might be with children. And I'm, if you're a mom, I'm sure we're on the same page. Just because you thought you explained it really well. And you probably did, you know, in one ear and out the next. So, you know, it's patience, constant supervision. That will always be a good guide.

Lindsay Miller  21:20  
Be helpful. Yeah, no, that's great. Real quick, before we go, are there specific ways that you know, like, good, good ways for little kids that age to play with pets, like a zero to five or five to eight? Do you see certain things like playing fetch is great for eight to 10? Or, you know, being able to help with the food is great for zero to five? Are there specific things that you're like, this is kind of the best way for them to play with or interact with the pet, you know, at these ages?

Dr. Carol Osborne  21:47  
Sure, was less than five minutes you and one child, and you guide everything, if you're holding their hands, you know, pat the dog on the back versus poke him in the eye? You know, I'm saying it's all about mom, or you know, the nanny, whichever one it might be, and that's a one on one, like I said, 100% of the time, because they're their little kids, they don't, they don't know. Because you tell them something that doesn't mean a thing. You know what I'm saying?

Lindsay Miller  22:21  
Yeah, so any activity, you're saying any activity, any activity is okay, for that age, because it's going to be done in tandem with the parent. Okay,

Dr. Carol Osborne  22:31  
exactly. And if there's not there, the pet should be there either. You know, I mean, that's just a simple fact. When your kids are eight and over, I think I think I said, you know, keep an eye on things. And other words, don't let your kids in the backyard and then go to the movie theater for a couple of hours. You know, check in on on. So you can, you know, there's not a problem. But that's why I said it's, this is all about adding on the responsibilities of pet ownership, primarily, to mom, unless you get like the best nanny in the whole wide world. You know, when kids are older, well, then, you know, they're more mature, they understand responsibility, and they're more apt to follow through on whatever their chores are walking the dog feeding the dog, you know, et cetera. But kids kids are kids. Yeah. So first and foremost, is parents and caregivers. We have to protect our children.

Lindsay Miller  23:46  
Yeah, both the the furry ones and the human ones. Thank you so much, Dr. Carell. This has been so insightful, and it's such a delight to talk with you today. I really appreciate you joining us here on the podcast.

Dr. Carol Osborne  23:59  
Well, thank you. It's It's my pleasure as well. And our website, Chagrin Falls pet clinic.com, as well as Dr. Carroll's at time abbreviated, Dr. C. AR o l tech term has lots of great information over 1500 articles addressing everything from A to Z on pets. We also welcome questions from pet lovers of many lovers coast to coast, they can call us toll free at 1866 Dr. Carroll, which is 866-372-2765.

Lindsay Miller  24:40  
Awesome. Well, thank you again. Well, I hope this quick little episode gave you some things to think about either in terms of how to incorporate your kids into caring for a pet or in your contemplation of bringing a new pet into your home. 

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